If you don’t think the government is in the hands of comedians, this story might change your opinion. There’s a whole lot of drinking going on in the name of science and law enforcement, but it’s not research volunteers or scientists doing the drinking. It’s a barrel full of monkeys. That’s right. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) is spending $3.2 million of your money and mine to get monkeys drunk and determine how alcohol affects them. It’s not the first time the NIH has wasted our money. Rather than focusing on the rehabilitation of addicts – or another serious medical issue – from 2008 to 2010 the NIH granted Yale University and Arizona State University a combined $154,688 to determine if drinking leads to losing more money while gambling. The NIH has also conducted studies on binge-drinking mice, and it’s conducted one study to determine if removing ovaries from female rabbits can induce rabbit heart attacks.

It’s hard – no, it’s impossible – to see how any of these “research” projects will reduce drunk driving, help people overcome addictions, or accomplish any legitimate legal or medical purpose. The drinking monkey project is being conducted at the Oregon Health & Science University. The same institution, located in Portland, received $84,908 to breed and study mice that are genetically inclined to binge drinking.

If you are charged with DUI in Orange County or elsewhere in southern California, get legal help at once and contact an experienced Orange County DUI defense attorney. Most California DUIs are misdemeanors with no injuries or property damage. The real threat to the public is the habitual DUI offender who has no fear of the law and seems impervious to traditional counseling and rehabilitation methods. When the NIH focuses on that kind of issue – and takes the public’s health and safety more seriously – they’ll be doing the job taxpayers want done. For now, contact an experienced Orange County DUI defense attorney immediately if you’re charged with DUI, and as for the NIH, you might want to consider writing your Congressman or Congresswoman.